What My Daughter Taught Me Today

My life is an upside down mess. For the first time in our marriage we have bought furniture for our home. That sounds strange when you take into account that we've been together for a decade, but there were circumstances. The small apartment I escaped to when I left my first husband didn't require anything more than a bed – the landlady provided a kitchen table and that's about all that could fit in there. Then we moved to our new home and lost our jobs. So, that kind of put a damper on any home shopping sprees. We bought what we needed for the children and made due with hand-me-downs and furniture left by the previous owners. But now we've bought a houseful of furniture.

I am ecstatic because for the first time, before having furniture that conforms to some kind of theme, I will have the storage that I desperately need for my sanity. Homeschooling, working from home and having 3 children with 3 sets of toys can be challenging, especially when you don't really have a lot of shelves or storage units. The first pieces of furniture have trickled in and I have been ranting and raving to my children that once I get their area set up anything that I find on the floor belongs to the garbage. I am just so tired of repeating myself and telling the girls to be neater that I've gotten to the "raving maniac, maybe I need a tranquilizer" stage of motherhood.

With the help of my good friend Franchesca, the storage drawers are ready to be filled and organized. I took the big things and placed them in drawers (that I've labeled and my 1 year old has torn off). I set up the bookcases to hold the overflow of books that we own. I've put the Pokémon and other small figurines into their respective homes and I was feeling mighty pleased with myself. I had my daughters help me with the sweeping and disposition of items. My eldest daughter, Jade, starts weeping for no apparent reason and starts going through the garbage bag that I brought upstairs. I asked her what was wrong and she just gets more hysterical and starts pulling out pieces of paper that have lain on the floor for 200 years or more. She claims that these are her "favorite" sheets of paper, broken toy, etc. Now, my daughter is basically waving the red flag in front of a bull. So, I go off and start fussing about "important things" aren't left on the floor to be stepped on and ruined. "Important things" are not left to grow mold, dust or whatever that was on some of the things that I've put into the garbage.

Of course, she sobs more, I tell myself to shut up and just clean and let her work it out for herself. She cries for at least a half hour after that while her sister and I are finishing the cleaning process. Suddenly, Jade throws herself into my arms and starts a fresh wave of tears. So, I just hold her for a while and start humming to the music on the radio. Finally she stops crying and tells me that she's feeling sick. I tell her to go to lie down in her bed for a few minutes. She tells me that she's not that kind of sick. Then I ask her what she means and she tells that she's sick because she doesn't treat her things well. Then she asks me if I can teach her to how to treat her things better. I was shocked! Here I was ranting and raving and the poor girl really doesn't understand what she's supposed to do with her things! Talk about feeling 2 inches high!

Today's little drama with my daughter brought home to me just how much there is for me to teach and for her to learn. It also has made me realize that I haven't been a very good example for her over the past year or so. With the birth of my son, increased work responsibilities and the cyber charter schoolwork, I have not been demonstrating organizational skills on anything higher than the basic, car keys are in the dish and my head is on my neck. The cyber charter school, while great for some families, really put a crimp in our fun activities since we were trying to keep up with their artificial 9 month schedule rather than the year-long homeschooling that we had practiced in the past.

The reorganization of our lives by returning to traditional homeschooling, buying furniture and planning where things go rather than putting them wherever we have space is really going to be an adjustment for everyone, including me. Being a blue personality, continuity and consistency is not always a strong suit, so I'll have to make a conscious effort to be more organized than ever before. The great thing about my household makeup is that my husband is a green (hyper-organized when given the chance) and he can make up my consistency deficiencies and help our children to be more aware of their surroundings. One of the good things about being a couple for so long is that we can pick up where the other left off without too much difficulty. And it helps that I'm not always the bad guy in the family. J

And, it also means that I have to be more patient with myself, as well as the children when it comes to our "New World Order" of things in the house. With bookcases, shelving, drawer space and new bedroom furniture, etc. everyone will have to get out of the habit of finding the cleanest available spot for their things and really think about what they are doing. I am sure that with everyone pulling together to make this transition, I'll be able to actually relax in my own home, for the first time in about four years, knowing that this orderliness is the beginning of greater time freedom for me to enjoy my little people.