Happy New Year

I have not been able to find the time to sit down and do my blog lately because I've been very busy learning about a most intriguing subject -- myself. Part of my New Year's Resolution is to begin working on myself so that I can be the type of mentor, friend, mother, teacher that I have always wanted to be.

Part of this process has been to engage in a 30 Day Mental Cleanse with the help of the publication "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. I was introduced to this process by my newest friend and mentor, Pat Crosby (pat.mentoringforfree.com) and it's been a great help to me.

Each week we consider one chapter from the book and see how the lessons contained within can help each of us to be a better person. It's so great to hear how differently each chapter affects (and reveals) portions of the group's life and belief system.

I've included one of the first lessons from the book that I did, just to "prove" (LOL!) that I haven't just been a slacker with the blog. I hope you enjoy it.

This week's chapter was very compelling for me. I found that I was
able to relate best to Mr. Barnes and his experience because of having to do
something similar in my own life. Henry Ford proved that being determined
to accomplish something, regardless of how "impossible" it may seem is
necessary to be able to attain any type of goal.

Regardless of what we are doing, there is always a time when our
goal seems impossible or inaccessible. If, however, we allow
ourselves to be stopped each time something came up that required us to
look outside of the box, we would be no better than drones or
robots. Humans have been blessed with the ability to think
outside of the box, and to continuously put ourselves into a box is
both unnatural and unhealthy. Yet, this is what most of us have been taught to limit ourselves since infancy. And when we were infants that was fine because we wouldn't be here (as evidenced by my son who likes to climb on top of tall things and lean over just to give me a heart attack). However, as we enter adulthood, many of the strictures that we were under have to be re-evaluated according to relevance and importance in our lives. Unfortunately, most of us live life on cruise control and never realize that we can "shift gears" at will.

That's why I found the explanation of Henley's poem to be so very interesting. The idea that the human brain is a magnet is a very strong word picture for me.
When I was in school we learned about convolutions in the brain and I've watched
documentaries on how the brain works and the imaging techniques that show how
different areas of the brain "light up" depending on what we are doing. It
also brings to mind one my computer programming teachers who explained that the
computer isn't right or wrong, it only does what it is programmed to
do. So, if we wanted better success with our programs, we had to set better
parameters.

So, our brains are just as impartial -- our programming (negative or positive) will set the parameters that our brain uses to make things happen. Our brain is our tool and is designed to attract only those things within its parameters. That makes a huge amount of sense to me. I have never been in true poverty, but neither have I been
financially well off either. I now realize that I have settled for what
was the "norm" for people that I knew. Everyone had money to take a
vacation once every 2-3 years and to cover the basic necessities, but no one
could ever say "I'm taking a year off" without expecting to be homeless.

It also explains why I was always able to get work when others in
my group were not. I never believed that I would ever be
unemployable. I went through the same interviewing/rejection/sitting
around agencies for the next lead experiences as my friends, but never once did
I doubt that I would find a job. And I was always the one who got the jobs
first. The others, the worriers and doubters, took much more time to
achieve the positions that I did. And according to their "programming" I
did all of the wrong things. I stood up for myself, said "no" first,
complained when I thought it was necessary and had no fear of speaking to those
who were my supervisors or bosses. Amazingly, I never once worried about
being fired because of my actions, whereas I had a few friends fired for silly
misdemeanors. I realize now that my brain was attracting my employers,
whereas my friends were attracting unemployment. Wow!

So, I need to re-evaluate my expectations and shake off the shackles of my upbringing, as well using the criteria for success to choose the people whom I will
associate with on a regular basis. No more doomsayers for me. Only then
will I be able to provide the type of lifestyle that I think my family
enjoys. And only by maintaining my focus on the good things that life has
to offer can I readily attain them.

Respectfully,

Cheryl Henderson-Khalid